Survive! The only thought that crosses people’s minds while in the Southern Sahara, but unfortunately not everyone is lucky enough for such a luxury. Adesola, Ahmed, and I scavenged for fruit to bring back to our tribe late into the murky, sunless night. Without warning, an ear-piercing roar came from behind.
“Run! Your life is depending on it!” Adesola shouted, and we took off swiftly; holding on to our fruity cargo as tight as possible. I look to see if my brothers are close behind. Although they ran quickly, they were still not making enough progress from the lion’s grasp.
I like how you used strong adjectives to show how powerful the lion’s roar was (ear piercing). I also enjoyed that this piece of writing is realistic fiction as this situation could actually occur in real life, especially in the setting where the brothers were gathering fruit.